Sam is a bit anxious about my writing lately. He feels like I am not just invading his privacy but I’m also endangering his image. He thinks I have already went overboard with the stories I tell my closest friends and family about him. Have I not caused enough tension between him and my people? Was my previous whining about him not enough to do damage on his profile? Does my entire clan despised him now? Is he now forbidden to enter the Philippine coastline? Is he now banned in my country?
Dear Wifey, If you can kindly spare me from any source of disgrace in rhetoric form, I will wholeheartedly appreciate it. Thank you. Hubby.
First of all, I am not a prominent writer and I am not writing a memoir or a novel. I don’t have BIG WORDS to draw a CROWD. If anyone has ever stumbled upon this blog, he or she will probably remember Sam’s character for a good few hours and will forget about it by midnight.
Interracial relationships like ours don’t have a huge fan base. Just saying.
Second of all, if someone even remembers him – they have no idea whatsoever who he really is in real life. The only thing definitive I mentioned so far about him is that: a. his Indian b. his sexy and c. his good looking (what’s not to like here?).
If Elizabeth Gilbert was able to conceal the Brazilian man who she fell in love with in her best selling novel Eat Pray Love, I can sure do the same.
Again, like I’m that famous.
Third of all, if in case someone gets really interested in my blog or if someone WE KNOW [a family member, a friend, a colleague, a flatmate of him or mine] reads this, they will all come to know that a. yes we fight like normal couples do and b. he’s human, so for chrissake [like me] he makes mistakes too.
I know it hasn’t been fair that perhaps my family and some of my closest friends got the wrong impression on him out of the stories I write [or tell] them. But it happens. Women need an outlet. And not just regular women. Writer women. Writer wives. Writer girlfriends. Writer mothers. They spill their emotions on paper because that’s what they are made of (ink in human form) and that’s what they’re good at (divulging private and intimate details. lol. Kidding).
Just let them be. You married them along with their writing shits. They never intend to harm you. They only want to tell a story. Because before they have become your girlfriend, your wife and mother of your kids, they were first – just plain storytellers. But they met you. You changed their world. You are part of their universe now. And you have to embrace that.
I don’t intend to make Sam look like a villain. I play fair. I write fair. I try the best I can to be neutral. I never intended to cause strain or trouble to anyone. Specially not to him. Not to people I love. [Cheesy but true.]
And this goes not just to Sam but to everyone who has become part of my writing regimen. Hi dad.
Here’s what husbands need to know about having a writer wife:
1. They MOSTLY write about their FEELINGS. Not exactly ABOUT YOU.
2. They MOSTLY write about WHAT HAPPENED. Not WHO MADE IT HAPPEN.
3. They write because they are often not good in verbal proceedings. Most of the time they can’t articulate their emotions to you. Writing is a place where they can THINK rationally. If you come to think of it, it helps the relationship. Because once they finish writing, they will most likely be over their rage and respond to you better. Even initiate good things, if you know what I mean…
So let them write their heart out.
4. They will never hurt you in writing. [At least no decent writer will] No writer wife will bash her husband unless he’s behaving really bad.
5. She’s part of your team. If you look bad. She looks bad. If there’s totally wrong about you. There’s definitely MORE wrong about her. Because despite all the negatives, she’s still with you.
6. She does her best to be neutral. Even if you don’t think so. It’s called Due Diligence.
7. Don’t take it too personally. They don’t. They don’t write to get even or to make you feel guilty and bad about yourself. They write because they need to. They will go nuts if they don’t. No hidden motives.
8. Every Writer Wife wants her husband to be the hero of her stories; the Edward Cullen ; the Christian Grey ; the prince of all Hans Christian Andersen and the few good men that only exist in Nicholas Sparks. No one wants to be married with a villain. Unless their name is Harlequin.
9. There’s always an easy way to not be anxious about being a Writer’s Husband. Follow Phoebe’s advice on Ross.
[Season 8, Episode 22 of Friends. The One Where Rachel is Late. ]
“Good God. Man don’t anger it.”
If she’s not pissed off, nobody gets hurt. Everybody’s happy. Yes?
10. Lastly- if they write about you, take it as a compliment.
Photo Credit: 30datesblog.com, thestylesmithdiaries.com, revistadonna.clicrbs.com.br, telegraph.co.uk