Catching Up on Prompts.
My solution to my Dilemma: Graceful(ness)
So I haven’t been feeling good lately about this aging thing. I couldn’t wrap the entire idea around my head completely. Just thinking about the future that is almost a yard away from now. Marriage. Babies. Eggs. Properties. Business. Savings. Eggs. Oh did I say eggs already? Investments. Health Cards. Residency. Citizenship. Children’s Education. Health and Welfare. Environment. Neighborhood. Retirement. Travels. Eggs. Every plan you make is directly proportion to your age [That is, if you think and act your age.] And at thirty, the clock seems to tick twice faster than usual and it makes you feel like you have to run twice as fast to catch up.
[If I make babies at XY age, my kids will be XY years old when I’m XY years old! Tuition fee hike! Global Warming! Recession! What about mortgage and retirement plans! Oh no I still want to travel! But I don’t like my job. I’m still in the middle of figuring out what I really want to do in life! But what am I supposed to do? What do I want to do? Wait. Dizzy. Air. Slow down.]
Everything is under control.
I found my resolve this morning. Feeling a lot better now…
I will be…
Playing the Carry Bradshaw card!
I want to age gracefully. I know I’m still young and all that. But I want to get over that cringe of being in this bracket. I was infatuated with being young. I was intoxicated of being in my twenties. Freedom. Fun. And without a care in the world. I didn’t realized that thirties has the ability to hammer you down hard to self-awareness. It will all of a sudden take all the immunity and privileges of being young and force fit you in a stifling, congested, uncomfortable world of adulting.
But I got to move pass that. I need to better understand the changes in my life, the new responsibilities and roles I now play. Just focus on the perks of being a little older, a little wiser, a little bit more of everything. If age can make you a little bit more of something, then just take advantage of the supplemental: I can now be more aggressive, sexy, gutsy, bold, daring, clever, driven, focused, and wild [this one for sure Sam would agree on]. I am now required if not entitled to be Brave and to fight for myself and the people I love. I am no longer just responsible of myself but for other people too.
All these, may take a while to get used to.
I don’t believe I’m overreacting as I write this post.I have heard and seen women my age freak out the same way. Not just because our body seems changing or that we have become so boring [from clubbing to coffee shops, and coffee shops to sleep overs, sleep overs to lunch dates, stories roll out from hot dates and hot men, to smart dates and smart men, break ups and moving on, starting fresh and living together, marriage and babies.] Not so long ago we we’re just fighting over which party to go to and now we’re having discussions over the controversial egg freezing. Doesn’t that sound scary?
We tend to overthink because women my age should already be raising kids with their husbands somewhere where there’s good educational programs and healthcare benefits from the government. Somewhere safe and conducive to family life. [ And I highly doubt it’s in the Philippines or in India – no offense.] We should’ve been expanding our own business by now. We should’ve moved to a bigger house [owned not rented] with additional rooms and a bigger family car since the second baby is coming. We should have investments by now and future travel plans mapped out for the next years to come. But no. Here we are, sharing a flat with five to six couples, renting and definitely no space for babies. Still trapped in a rat race of mediocrity living paycheck to paycheck. Our expenses to some extent is still greater than our monthly savings. No business. No passive income. I wonder what our life would be like in the next five years. Who knows? We can only, do the best efforts we can to make it far beyond our future goals and for the meantime, live in the present the best way we can, make the most out of it and hope for the better. This has always been my take on things. Put the rest of the things I can’t control aside and trust on God’s Divine Plan.
My personal goal at this moment is to enjoy this phase. Just celebrate these good times where I know I have been better. And despite the everyday challenges, I know I have been more blessed.
I’m leaving all the still single or practically married women and young wives out there in their thirty’s up with some inspiring, uplifting, ravishing and glamorous photos of how bradshawing-nice-and-slow looks like. We may not afford surrogacy or this lifestyle but it’s fun to have a young heart kind of mind set in a stressful, pressure filled universe.
Breath in. Breath out. And be young at heart.
Photo Credit: memegenerator, learningfromhollywood.pl, www.leseclaireuses.com, www.eonline.com,www.dailymail.co.uk, www.joy.pl, cosmeticinfo.su, sous.ws, ohfashion.ru, kelebekgaleri.hurriyet.com.tr, mogujatosama.rs, perezhilton.com, www.dailymail.co.uk, www.thefashionobsession.com, www.popsugar.com, www.pinterest.com, www.fanpop.com, denimology.com, sunshineandadaisy.blogspot.com, www.elle.com, quoteaddicts.com, usmagazine.com, huffingtonpost.com, zimbio.com, starkiddo.com