Finding Ethan (II)

October 20 Prompt: Giant


A giant rock gets stuck in my throat every time I remember. Actually I don’t think I ever forget. I just push it aside but somewhere in my peripheral vision, it’s there. All things Ethan, right at the corner of my sanity. I left it unharmed knowing that once I – for a moment decided to touch it, it will break into shards and cut me.

There’s always an impending sob inside my chest that couldn’t seem to find a way out. It’s been a month and I have been better than expected. But an innocent slip of a tongue can still shatter me with the same intensity as the first night he left.  The inevitable mention of his name over dinner parties, the occasional appearances of his name in our bills and magazine subscriptions, the fragments of his presence lurking at home – items I have not completely wrapped in boxes because they were too hard to dispose and then there’s the irony of running into someone close to him in confined places like restrooms and elevators.

People has been asking me where he is or how he’s doing and I wish I knew. I always had answers to these questions. But I don’t know anymore…

How have you been Ethan? Where are you?


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